Saturday, 11 June 2016

Ten Things That I'd Do Differently.


Lately I've been having a bit of the dreaded 'bloggers block'. I've been unsure what direction I want to take this humble little blog of mine in, and as a result I just felt like doing absolutely anything else besides writing it. I took a little break to think about it, and to remind myself that this is meant to be fun above all else! Who cares if I don't have a 'theme' anymore - if I want to post about beauty products or what books I've been reading then I will! I definitely will be continuing with my posts documenting my travels around Scotland, but I'll also be posting whatever strikes my fancy that week. I hope that's okay with you all!

With all this time off from blogging, I've been thinking way too much. When I think, I usually think about my past, and get so exasperated at myself for being such a tool half the time. So today I wanted to share with you some of the things I'd change if I had Hermione's time-turner...

1. I wouldn't have skived so much school. Or Uni, tbh...

I was, and remain, one of the laziest people you'll ever meet. Instead of just doing my Geography homework, I'd pretend to go to school and instead spend the whole day wandering around the walkways of Edinburgh, trying desperately to hide my pretty obvious uniform from the people giving me dirty looks. I just couldn't be bothered. In university, despite my good intentions, it all continued. Why bother turning up to a 9am lecture when it was recorded and online for me to watch later in the comfort of my own flat? I really regret not trying a bit harder with my education; I was lucky in that I managed to get a 2:1 but I always wonder if I could've done even better if I'd really pushed myself.

2. I wouldn't have tried rollerskating on concrete slabs.

Honestly, I was probably only around 9 years old but I just don't know what I was thinking. We lived in what essentially turned out to be a block of retirement flats and we must have irritated them all beyond belief. There was this little patch of path behind the garages so my brother and I went out there to rollerskate. Inevitably, one of the slabs was protruding slightly above the others, I tripped and broke my wrist. Should've seen that one coming really.

3. I wouldn't have bleached my hair... twice... in one night.

I am so bloody impatient. It's one of my worst faults. I cannot STAND waiting for anything - I want it all and I want it now. So when I was having some sort of pre-quarter-life-crisis and decided to dye my hair bright purple, I just couldn't be doing with waiting for the bleach to take hold. I was unimpressed when my first attempt still left a few orange-y patches, so instead of being at all sensible or rational I just coated my hair with it again. Needless to say it fell out in quite large clumps. Don't do it!

4. I absolutely NEVER would have put my bitching down on paper.

This is another one of those 'I should have known better' things. When I started high school (in the Dark Ages), we may have all had mobile phones, but they had absolutely no credit on them (remember credit?! Jesus). So instead we did what anyone would do and wrote notes to pass across the classroom, or hand to each other as we passed in the hallway. I actually found a few of these lately and they make me feel horrible. 13 year old me was such a little bitch! Having it written in black and white was never going to be a good idea and I definitely got my comeuppance when one of the girls (who was a master at manipulation even then) used the notes to play me and another friend off one another. She'd be writing horrible things about them to me, and me to them, and then showing us what each other had said. Awful. But my own fault for being such a little cow!


5. I wouldn't have gotten so drunk so young.

This is something I'm not at all proud of, so please don't misunderstand me! But I first started drinking the weekend after my 13th birthday. For about two years I'd get really drunk at the weekends to go to an under-18s club (oh the irony). One night when I was probably about 14 I was even more drunk than usual (my drinking had gone from litre bottles of cheap cider to half- or quarter-bottles of cheap vodka) and I actually ended up getting kicked out of the club because of it. Looking back, I'm pretty disgusted that the managers and bouncers just allowed a clearly inebriated 14 year old to walk off on her own at night, but I guess that's not the point. I sat under a nearby bridge for two hours waiting for the club to end and my friends to find me. I was so drunk my head was lolling all over the place and FIVE separate drivers stopped their cars to check I was alright. Thank God they were all good people cause I was in no state to protect myself. This is a bit more of a serious regret than the others, but I'd definitely take it back if I could.

6. I wouldn't have given up so quickly on music or languages.

A bit more light hearted! I studied French up to Intermediate 2 qualification (if you're not Scottish  you'll probably have no idea what I'm on about, they don't even do Int 2's anymore) but I didn't go on to do it in my 5th year. I started it as a crash Higher when I was in 6th year but ended up swapping it for Advanced Higher Biology which I spectacularly failed. I started violin lessons in primary school and continued them up until around the age of 15. I wish I'd never given up on these, it'll be so hard to pick them up again. But at least I'm fairly good at reading both music and French!

7. I wouldn't have wasted my time on stupid boys.

When I think about how much time I spent worrying over boys when I could've been learning eight different languages and five instruments, it makes me feel a bit sick. Not one of the guys I was spending my life daydreaming about ended up being worth my time. I mean, my first boyfriend cheated on me multiple times (lol at that, we were 13 and 14, 'cheating' is a bit strong) and then got his best mate to phone me and dump me for him so he could ask someone else out. Another spent TWO YEARS messing with my head while trying to have sex with basically every other girl we knew. Not worth the heartache!

8. I wouldn't have wasted my time on stupid girls.

If I spent too much time worrying about boys, then I spent twice as much worrying about girls. People who have claimed to be my friends, but have fucked me over without a second thought. I could even see most of it happening (see the girl from point 4!) and I just naively and pathetically hoped that if I was even nicer to them they'd still be my friends. This continued waaay into my 20s and I had one of the most hurtful experiences in my second year of university. I wish I could've learned the lessons before that point because all of this has left me with a crippling fear that no-one likes me.

Absolute cringe of this photo hahahaha.

9. I wouldn't have gotten my lip pierced by a man high on drugs.

This is pretty stupid by anyone's standards, but back in my day all us wee emo/goth type tits hung out on a street called Cockburn Street. On this street was a shop called Ground Control, with it's legendary body piercer, Tails. I had already had my lip pierced by him aged 15, without any kind of parental consent (actually my mum went mad) or real thought about it. I went back to get a second piercing next to it (I swear, at the time this was cool) and Tails was clearly off his head. Even still, I went through with it. He pierced my lip about a metre away from where we'd agreed, so I left the shop and immediately took the stud out. Bit stupid.

10. I wouldn't have wasted so much money.

This is something I want to cry about most days. Every time I read over a bank statement I wonder how I manage to make money flow through my hands like water. WHAT am I even buying?! It makes no sense. I wish I was more financially minded.


Hope you enjoyed this little insight into some of my biggest regrets. Let me know if you liked it cause it was really fun to write and I might do a part two if you did! Also let me know some of the things you'd do differently if you could!
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24 comments

  1. Loved this post, hunni.
    It's great to see your personality shine through on your posts! Loved learning a bit more about you.
    This is a great idea for a blog post & I throughly enjoyed reading it.

    Don't know why you were nervous poppet: This was brill!

    @blogabtnothing1
    www.charlenemcelhinney.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Charlene! You are so supportive, it is so encouraging and I really appreciate it. Glad you liked this post, I'm looking forward to doing more like it :) xx

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  2. Ah loved this. We've all got regrets and I think you'll be surprised by how similar most peoples are! xx

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    1. Thank you! Yeah sadly we all do have regrets, but it's a good chance to learn from them! x

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  3. I really enjoyed reading this post! It was so interesting and just such a lovely read and I feel as though I've gotten to know you so much better through it too! You post what you want to post, because those worth your time will love your content regardless :)

    Jade xx | simplyjadey.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Oh thank you Jade :) I'm glad you feel like you've learnt a bit more, I really enjoyed writing this so I'm glad you liked it! xx

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  4. That's such an unique and may I say personal post. I would have done many things differently too if I could turn back time. But we can't and thus we have to focus on the future and not the past. Yeah, I am cringing at some moments in my past but are they really so important compared to the amazing things? It's better to let go and just forget, we all do stupid things once we are young :)

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. Thank you Leta, this is such a lovely comment. We definitely do all do stupid things, it's how we learn from them that counts xx

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  5. Love this! 1 and 7 I can really relate too! xx

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    1. Haha, I was so bad for both of these. Oh well! xx

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  6. This is such an honest and refreshing post! I can definitely relate to these, especially number 8. Massive well done for posting it :) xx

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    1. Thank you Rachel! You're always so supportive, it means a lot to me! And yeah, number 8 is so bad. Teenage girls though eh! xx

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  7. Love this! Really good post, can defo relate to some of these X

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    1. Thanks Libby, yeah we all go through a few of these I think! xx

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  8. I can relate to a lot of these too, particularly wasting time on the wrong people! But these mistakes just make us who we are and we learn from them! Great idea for a post!

    Hannah xx
    www.hannahemilylane.com

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    1. Thank you Hannah! Yesss, wasting time on people who don't care about us feels like such a waste, but when we find the people who do care it feels so much better! xx

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  9. Regret spares no one, but it's up to us to learn from them and emerge even stronger! Love this post-- it's so real and honest. so glad to have found your blog xX

    kynialikethecountry.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much, that's so kind. It was actually a really fun post to write but I'm fairly sure I could write about 100 follow up posts! :) xx

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  10. I love this! So much honesty in one post <3
    I always meant to get a second lip piercing next to my first but never got round to it... You've made me think it maybe wasn't meant to be, haha!

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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    1. My goodness, we really do have a lot in common haha!
      Yeah it wasn't a great look! I can't believe I just accepted it and paid for it and then took it out about five minutes later. What a waste! x

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  11. Great post lovely, so honest! And I'm with you 100% on regretting skiving school and uni and wasting time on fake friends!

    Ella xx
    www.inellaselement.co.uk

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    1. Thanks love, yeah it was definitely not my finest hour but it's all worked out okay I suppose! xx

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  12. Beth this was a really touching post, I admire your honesty! 💗 I have similar regrets about wasting my time with stupid boys and stupid girls, now I look back on it and think that I was rather daft as well! But at least we learn from these mistakes and improve ourselves because of them! Thank you for sharing 😘

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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  13. Really enjoyed this post because there were parts I could definitely relate to. I wish I didn't spend so much time worrying about what other girls thought of me! I also wish I'd saved up more throughout the years because like you I have almost no idea where all of my money has gone...

    www.thesundaymode.com

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