Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Things I'm Terrible At.


Like any strong, independent woman (lol as if) in their 20s, I'm constantly striving to prove I've got this life thing nailed. But if you look a little closer, it's all a facade. There are so many things I just suck at.

Cooking.

My husband does most of the cooking, with good reason. I am awful. I can follow a recipe to the letter and still burn things on the outside while leaving the inside nice and raw. I'm honestly surprised I haven't given anyone awful food poisoning (yet). If it doesn't go straight in a microwave, or isn't beige and cooked in an oven for 20 minutes, I can't really do it.

 Baking.


The result of accidentally sticking my hand in a whisk.
This kind of hurts my soul, as I always thought that while I suck at cooking, I was okay at baking. However watching Bake Off always reminds me how truly awful I am. There was the time my brother and I baked a cake, decorated it and sat down to a slice, just to discover we'd forgotten to put sugar in. Or the time I decided to try and break up a clump of brown sugar in my cookie mix. By hand. While the electric whisk was still in the bowl. Not the brightest of ideas.

 Getting Shit Done.

I am a lifelong procrastinator, and if I can put something off until tomorrow, you'll probably find I still haven't done it a month later. I have needed a new passport for probably about a year, and I just can't bring myself to get it done. I really hate this about myself but I also know I'm just inherently lazy, and only really react to things when there's a time pressure behind it.
Double this if it includes having to make any kind of phone call.

Literally Anything Eyebrow Related.


The Awful Eyebrow Wax Incident of 2015.
When I was in high school, I literally looked as if I didn't have eyebrows. Since then, they have taken over the lower half of my forehead and I don't know what to do about them. I've tried everything but they look insane. A month before my wedding I had one of the worst eyebrow waxes I've ever seen, and now I'm too scared to touch them again even though they look terrible. I need someone to help me, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Housekeeping.

I hate tidying up. I can never really be bothered doing the dishes. I haven't touched an iron in years (life is actually just too short for ironing if you don't need to). I know it's all got to be done - and thank god for my husband or I'd be living in squalor - but I'm just terrible at keeping things neat and tidy. 

 Exercise.

I actually hate walking. I honestly can't see the point in 'going for a walk'. Why go somewhere just to come back again?! I've tried doing exercise DVDs at home, but my willpower is so weak that as soon as there's a tricep dip (why do these hurt so much?!) or a burpee I am out of there. I really want to like and be good at outdoorsy, sporty activities, but sitting down to watch a whole season of Drag Race is somehow much more appealing.

 Healthy Eating.



Every time I eat a salad I think, "Okay! Here it is! A whole new me!" And within two days I'm craving chips like I've not eaten in weeks. I have no real excuse for this; I just have no willpower and as I said, I can't cook. It's just that pizza is too damn tempting.

 Saving Money.

I have such good intentions. I'm always planning how much I could save if I just cut X out, or did Y more often. Then it's bank statement time and I find that Asda seems to have taken all of my money out of my account?! Rude. Seriously though, looking at a bank statement is like looking at a list of reasons I shouldn't be allowed my own bank card.

Painting My Nails.

Literally an hour after painting them.
You lot who can master both hands (ooer) without a second thought are actually magical beings. I am atrocious. I got to the point where it was easier to literally paint over the entire top of my finger, let it dry and then attempt to remove any polish from the skin. I don't understand how I can let my nails dry for 5 hours and then as soon as I dare to touch something, smudge the whole lot? 

 Maintaining Any Kind Of Aesthetic.

I cannot dress myself in a remotely visually appealing way. I can't decorate my house with any kind of clear theme or proper design scheme. I can't even keep my Instagram feed looking cute. I just can't put together a visual theme that looks awesome, and it really sucks. I see all of you with your Instas looking beaut and I'm jealous. 


There's 10 things I am absolutely terrible at - there are many more but these are some of the highlights! 
What are some things you suck at?

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2 comments

  1. This gave me a giggle. I'm terrible at every single one of these too! Especially the eyebrows! Haha! Now you need to do a things you're good at post!

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  2. ...... it's like you know my life. haha I love these! Don't feel bad-- you're not alone! xX

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