Thursday, 3 May 2018

Dear Husband...

love marriage couple husband arthur's seat edinburgh

Surprise! Well, you're always asking if you feature in my blog posts, so I thought it was about time I wrote one all about you.

Yesterday was our three year wedding anniversary, and as we tend to do with all major events in our relationship, we spent it apart. Of course, I wasn't anticipating cards and flowers - which is a good job cause they didn't materialize. If anything, I'm more likely to receive a tiny bottle of ketchup or mayo that you've stolen from a hotel than the usual romantic gestures. We really do need to talk about your gift-giving skills at some point...

No - anniversaries, Valentine's day, even birthdays and Christmas - these are not days that we celebrate really. That's partly because we never really know if we'll even be the same country on those days, and partly because every time you tell me you've bought me a present and it turns out to be a miniature condiment, I want to cry a bit.

By the end of this year, we'll have spent a whole decade of our lives together, and have lived together 'properly' for five years. Except that's not true - in the last year, we've spent half our time apart, going over two months without seeing each other twice. Perhaps that is the secret to a happy marriage: never spend time together. Works for us!

I often wonder how many people are shocked we are still together. Me, mainly. Why you haven't left me yet is a mystery hahaha. I don't know how I got this lucky, but I know that's what I am. I have never met a man as giving and generous as you, and I know that there are a million other women out there who would be a better wife (I'm bloody useless, I know).

I knew as soon as we met that I liked you. If I told 17-year-old me that I ended up married to you, I don't think she would have believed it - probably cause for over a year neither of us made the slightest move on each other. I was resigned to the disappointment of not getting to kiss you. I'd hang out in your flat just to get to talk to you. I am fully aware of how tragic I am, but it worked didn't it - ha, I win.

In the last ten years, we have grown to know everything about each other: the good, the bad and the ugly. I didn't know that I would still love someone who doesn't rinse the sink after shaving, or who thinks sweeping all the dirt on the floor into one corner counts as cleaning. I didn't realise that I would find it endearing when you flipped the Monopoly board to stop me winning, or when you refuse to help me with something because you "can't wake up the cat". Who knew that even annoying habits become something I couldn't imagine living without?

That makes it sound like you have lots of annoying habits - you don't (although if you could stop playing the piano when I'm watching tv I'd appreciate it). I get frustrated because you want to clean too much - what a monster you are. You cook, you clean, you work, you do anything you can think of to make me happy. I could write a thousand examples of the selfless acts you perform for me every day, but it still wouldn't be enough to express how grateful I am.

I'm sorry I don't say that enough, too. I don't tell you how much I appreciate you, that I am so aware that you do absolutely all the hard work in our relationship. I don't really know how to repay you for everything you do for me (don't be filthy, I'm not doing that). Truly though, I don't know where I'd be without you. I hope I never have to find out haha.

Most of my favourite memories involve you - from boiling to death in Lake Como, to our first time in a swimming pool together in Antigua. I'll never forget the look of genuine excitement on your face when I arrived in Raasay to spend your 21st birthday with you - no one has ever been that pleased to see me. When you got on land after the row and tried to walk over to me on legs like Bambi on ice - I thought you were going to collapse but I was elated that I was actually there to be the first person you hugged. Our road trip around the Highlands, where we found the biggest hotel bath in the world. CROVIE - was that our first trip away together? Probably the best present you've ever given me (seriously, more of this, less of the miniature items).

Those aren't even the best bits though. The best bits are lying in bed watching FailArmy videos and old Vines together. They're when you try to cook a meal but I annoy you constantly by trying to hug you while you stir and chop. When you send me videos of puppies and kittens doing hilarious things. When you stopped the car in the middle of the road and reversed for 100 metres because we'd driven past a pig I hadn't noticed and you knew it'd made my day. When we lie on the sofa and you dig your claws toes into my leg - as much as I complain about it I miss it when you're not here.

When I was younger I always wanted big romantic gestures, but I think I got it a bit wrong. I thought it mattered that your proposal to me didn't actually include the words 'Will you marry me?' (in fact, if I remember correctly it was more along the lines of 'I'll never be buying you jewellery again' hahaha). But it doesn't matter, not at all. What matters is that you buy two kinds of orange juice because you know I don't like the same type as you, that you take me for drives to the middle of nowhere because you know it's my favourite thing to do, and that you still love me when I'm not even likeable. I am so thankful - and so lucky.

So please know, even though we don't tend to celebrate the 'special days' in our marriage, I celebrate the little things every day. I celebrate the mornings where I get to wake up next to you (unless you've already disappeared off for a coffee, rude). I celebrate the phone calls from hire cars where you excitedly tell me about driver assist for the thousandth time. I celebrate sitting next to you on our sofa, pretending to care about the documentary on warships you're making me watch. I celebrate our life together because it is everything I have ever wanted.

I love you.

1 comment

  1. Awww this is such a lovely post, I bet your husband is going to enjoy reading this. It sounds like you have so many great memories together :) Great post!

    Kate |


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