Monday, 20 August 2018

Your New Live-In Lover - The Lovehoney Deluxe Massage Wand Vibrator Review.*


Sex. There, I said it. Isn't it funny that I'm rapidly approaching 30 and still feel a little apprehensive talking about it in a blog post? Well, today I'm throwing caution to the wind - cause I want to introduce you to something very sexy indeed - the Lovehoney Deluxe Massage Wand Vibrator. Just a heads up family, you probably want to skip this post...

I'm not going to beat around the bush here (lol) - I like sex. I like having it, I like discussing it with my friends (hey Vee haha), and I like reading about it. But I've been in a relationship for ten years, and, I know this is seriously cliched, but a little variety is the key to keeping things interesting. 

While a lot of bloggers have started speaking out about sex and masturbation, not too many have actually gone the whole hog and spoken about sex toys - I can only think of Samantha and Sam off the top of my head. There is still a taboo around using them, and it's unnecessary - there is no reason to be ashamed of enjoying yourself! There's a world of possibility out there.


Lovehoney sent me over their Deluxe Massage Wand Vibrator, their newest, most powerful addition to their large selection of magic wand vibrators (only one section of their huge array of vibrators). If you're tempted to order from Lovehoney but don't want your postie/parents/flatmates knowing what you're up to, the first thing to note is that all their deliveries are completely discreet - no one will know what lurks beneath the plain brown cardboard packaging.


I was obviously very eager to get this out for a closer inspection! This comes in either black or white - obviously, I picked the black which I love. I think it looks really sleek and simple, although I'll admit that this is slightly intimidating on first glance. It's pretty darn large, around the length of my forearm, and the head has an 8-inch circumference. But this large size means that it is incredibly powerful, which is what is really important here!

This vibrator is a bit different from the norm, as it's not battery powered but actually plugs into the mains. No more scrabbling around half-naked, stealing the AAs out of the TV remote. This also means you'll never have the disappointment of your toy losing power and ruining your orgasm - there is nothing worse! Yes, there's a cord, but it's 2.4m long, giving you plenty of reach for all your bedroom activities.



There are a whopping 10 speed settings on the wand, but even the lowest packs a real punch. The first time I plugged it in, I whacked it straight up to the top speed to see what it's like - and I couldn't actually hold it against my hand. I'd definitely recommend starting slow with this, particularly if you are new to using toys; perhaps try using it as a body massager during foreplay (this actually doubles as a pretty awesome deep-tissue massager) and gradually work your way up the speed settings!

It also features a button to choose different vibration patterns, of which there are 20(!) to choose from. I don't think I've ever seen a sex toy that offers so much variation, and I doubted they could be very distinct from each other - but they are! With so many options on speed and patterns, you're pretty much guaranteed to find a combo that suits you perfectly.


I'm going to try not to be too graphic in case my family members ignored my warnings and are reading this, but as an experience, this can't be faulted. The wand has a flexible neck, meaning that you get a great range and it reaches all angles. The head is made from super-soft silicone, which gives just enough friction to make the vibrations feel deep and powerful, without any pulling or irritation to your delicate, intimate skin. Adding a little bit of water-based lubricant just increases the sensations. The design is great, and the buttons are really easy to reach while you're using it, making it simple to switch settings without stopping. It's also really easy to clean - although remember it's an electrical item so stick to spritzing it with a toy cleaner rather than running it under a tap...!



And the real question - does this do the job? Erm, yes. Yes, it bloody well does. Potentially TMI but I can sometimes find it quite hard to orgasm during sex, but this is a game-changer. It's guaranteed to get me off, and quickly too. As a married woman whose husband works offshore a lot, this is my new live-in lover (sorry Blair).

The only thing that may be an issue for some is that this, being a mains-powered, VERY powerful toy, does make a bit of noise. It's nothing outrageous and as soon as you're using it you'll be far too distracted to notice, but if you live with people and don't want them to know about your exploits, it's worth considering that they may be able to hear it. It might be worth taking another look at Lovehoney's range of magic wands and picking something a little more discreet, like this mini massager.



The Deluxe Massage Wand is currently £79.99. Perhaps this seems a bit pricey for "just another vibrator", but this is so much more than that! For a start, this isn't just a one-gender-only kind of toy - I can think of a couple of body parts that most men wouldn't mind having some powerful vibrations on... You can also buy a variety of attachments for this wand, like cock rings, ribbed sleeves and G-spot stimulators, which makes this a really versatile product that can be used solo or with a partner, both by men and women. In fact, if I were restricted to only ever using one sex toy again, I'd happily pick this. I don't even think I'd want anything else.

£79.99 for guaranteed, on-demand orgasms? Sounds like a bargain to me.

Let's break the sex toy taboo - have you or would you try a wand vibrator? Or do you have any sex toy recommendations for me? (Again, parents, if you're reading - you're excluded from this).
*I was sent this item by the lovely people at Lovehoney in return for a review. My opinions are all entirely my own and 100% honest.
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